I'm trying to change. I'm sick of not working as hard as I should and I'm sick of not knowing the things I should because I'm not working as hard as I shold and I'm sick of worrying about what life is going to be like if I can't even focus an wok on things that I really am interested in.

I got really scared last night when I realized that if I can't keep up with 3 undergrad courses due to stupid procrastination, there's no way I'll be able to handle grad school of any kind. I thought that this summer had changed me that working long hours everyday would make me appreciate only having to work 4 or 5 hours a day, but nope, instead I find silly things to waste my time. Like writing this for example. Although to my credit, I am at school and my stats book is open in front of me... and I spent my 2 hour break today at the library reading my Foreign Affairs articles.

Apart from the increased working, it was sort of a sad day. It's been almost two months since I left and not having Pat around is taking it's toll. For those of you who have ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how it feels to just want a hug from someone you know loves you. To rest your head on their shoulder and close your eyes and just feel better. Even when nothing's really wrong.. I miss having someone to roll into in the middle of the night. 2 more months. less actually, but who's counting, right?

I had an interesting weekend. I furthered my domestication by baking cookies (peanut butter oatmeal) and making a lasagna(ricotta and spinach). Both turned out fairly well. Michael and David and Holly came over and ate with Ian and I and it was nice. I think I shold have people over for dinner more often. We still owe Matt and Robin from thanksgiving so maybe in the next couple of weeks or so.

On Sunday Mike and David and Andrew and I got a little wet exploring a couple of the drains in Hamilton. Michael was gracious enough to let me borrow his tripod and shine a light down the drain:



It was a pretty cool experience and I look forward to going again. However, I will be better prepared with a recorder and rubber pants.

Now I think I should get back to the stats.